Preparing

I feel as if I have spent much of the summer preparing for the fact that my child will be starting kindergarten. I started the summer worrying about the school where she will be going. Is it the right school? Will she have any friends? What will her teacher be like? I applied for an intra-district transfer to another elementary that would be closer to the church. I thought that would make it better on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday while I'm working and she would be so much closer to me. My transfer was denied. I called her school to request a certain teacher. I was told they don't take requests.

I was trying to do everything I could to make things the way I thought would be best. God had other plans.

I've spent much of the last few weeks praying for Karson's new teacher. Praying that I would let Him be in control. Praying for peace about the whole situation. I don't know why I was surprised when I began to feel better. I don't know why I was surprised that His way was better than what I was trying to work out. I don't know why I'm ever surprised that He always has a plan, and that "plan is good" (Jer. 29:11).

This past week we continued our preparation.

We bought new tennis shoes for school. When I asked Kars if they made her run fast, she informed me that it is the person wearing the shoes that makes you fast or not, not the shoes themselves. Wow. She did, however, pose to show me how fast she was going to be! :)

We also purchased a new flower clip to go with our first day of school outfit.

We then headed to Wal-Mart to purchase our school supplies. Oh my goodness, I think everyone else was there buying school supplies at the same time.

After all of our shopping, we headed to the nail salon to have our very first Mother/Daughter pedicure. Oh my goodness...this was fun! Kars loved it! She picked hot pink polish and had them add white polka dots to it. Too cute!

One of our final preparations was tonight. We got to go to the school for "Meet the Teacher". It was very crowded in the hallways, and we had to wander around to find the kindergarten rooms. We finally found them and entered Mrs. Plum's room. On our way to the school, Karson and I had discussed what we thought Mrs. Plum would look like. Karson was delighted to see that she had pictured her perfectly except for her hair color! We dropped off her school supplies and looked around the room a bit. We then made our way back through the crowded halls. We walked back to the front door and then retraced our steps back to the room so that Karson would feel comfortable finding it.

As we were walking to the car, I could tell Kars was getting quieter by the second and I asked her what was wrong. She took my hand and looked up at me with a trembling lip and tears in her eyes. She said, "How am I going to be able to find that room all by myself?"

With these words, my heart broke into a million pieces.

I guess with all of the preparation I was doing as far as worrying about the right school, the right teacher, the right outfit...I totally forgot to prepare myself for the fact that my baby girl is going to have to walk into that big school and find her room "all by herself". Ouch. That hurts my heart.

I assured her that I would be able to walk her in the first day or so and that there would be plenty of people there to help her, but it's the symbolism of it all. It's the letting go. It's the "all by herself".

God has it under control. I know that in my head. My heart is trying to catch up.

Wednesday is the first day of school. I'm planning to have precious pictures to post and a happy story to tell. It's all going to work out. His plans are good...the Bible tells me so.